Exchanging Letters
by Woodland Goddess
Summary: An exchange of letters between Lucius Malfoy and Albus Dumbledore – the real reason Malfoy tries to have Dumbledore removed from his position at Hogwarts. Inspired by The Tales of Beedle the Bard.


Title: Exchanging Letters

Author: Woodland Goddess

Rated: M for intelligent insults. Lol

Warnings: None at all, unless you have a problem with Pureblood Bigotry.

Pairings: None

Summary: An exchange of letters between Lucius Malfoy and Albus Dumbledore – the real reason Malfoy tries to have Dumbledore removed from his position at Hogwarts. Inspired by The Tales of Beedle the Bard.

Disclaimer: Publically recognisable characters, settings and phrases belong to J K Rowling and her various publishers. I am making no profit from this.

...

Headmaster Dumbledore,

You need not allow your confusion to overwhelm you, Dumbledore, for I am composing this brief missive for your perusal for one purpose alone. I demand that you remove all known copies of The Tales of Beedle the Bard from the distinguished shelves of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with all due haste. Any work of fiction or non-fiction that depicts interbreeding between Wizards and Muggles should, henceforth, be banned from the Hogwarts library.

I do not wish the malleable mind of my only son to be influenced in to sullying the purity of his bloodline by reading stories that promote Wizard-Muggle marriage. If you do not comply with this request immediately, I shall be forced to take action against you. We are all aware of what a devastating loss that would be for the school and the young minds therein.

Sincerely,

Lucius Malfoy,

Board of Governors.

θθθ

Mr Malfoy,

It is my pleasure to inform you that I am disinclined to acquiesce to your most compelling request. You shall not be delighted, I am certain, to learn that the majority of the Board of Governors, of which you are a member, agree with my own opinion on the matter, quite readily. My opinion is this: So-called Pureblood families maintain their alleged purity by disowning, banishing or lying about Muggles or Muggle-Borns on their family trees. They, then, attempt to foist their hypocrisy upon the rest of us by asking us to ban works dealing with the truths that they deny.

There is not a Witch or Wizard in existence whose blood has not mingled with that of Muggles, and I should, therefore, consider it both illogical and immoral to remove works dealing with the subject from our students' store of knowledge. Who are you, or I, for that matter, to deprive our World's youngest members of such a perennial favourite? The Fountain of Fair Fortune is such a charming and endearing fiction that it has inspired an attempt to introduce a Christmas pantomime to Hogwarts' festive celebrations.

My apologies if this course of action does not agree with you.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore,

Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

θθθ

Headmaster Dumbledore,

How dare you insinuate that the Ancient and Noble House of Malfoy would dare defile their blood with the filth of Muggles and Muggle-Borns? Such a notion is positively grotesque. I had once thought you were beginning to get on in your years, but now I see you for what you truly are. You are a detestable husk of a man, possessed by a mind of raging senility and a powerful mental imbalance, which is affecting your judgement. You are unfit to be the Headmaster of such a prestigious educational facility. It is, now, my sole duty to remove you from your position, with or without your cooperation.

You are a danger to the school, and to the students and faculty that reside within its walls. I will not rest until I have accomplished this mission, for nothing is more important than ensuring the safety of the students attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is clear that the...undesirable status of your mother's heritage has played a major role in determining the depraved, horrid man you have become in your old age. If you so much as dare to attempt to influence my son in the direction of your loathsome leanings, it will mean war.

Sincerely,

Lucius Malfoy,

Board of Governors.

θθθ

Mr Malfoy,

I shall endeavour to respect your opinion, but I am afraid I must disagree.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore,

Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

θθθ

Dumbledore looked down his crooked nose at the brief missive upon his desk, and felt the corners of his mouth quirk up in amusement. He looked forward to receiving the next rant, courtesy of Lord Voldemort's Favourite Pet Death Eater.


End file.
